Altadin
27Oct/0913

I wish I couldn’t care less.

Matticus recently had a guildmember depart for a more hardcore raiding guild.  By and large, he was fine with it — even supportive.  He just wished the guy had talked to him before leaving rather than after, and perhaps finished the lockout period instead of bailing in the middle of it.

While I don't necessarily agree with Matt's observation that he "should have" been angry (a psychology major, I don't believe there's any such thing as "should have" when it comes to feelings; they simply are or they aren't), I am surprised by some of the comments he has received.  A couple of people — including well-respected members of the community (read: not trolls!) — have told him point blank that it was his fault that the former guildie didn't approach him.  Clearly, Matt should have fostered a more open, communicative environment ...

Um, excuse me for interrupting the self-righteous diatribe: but how the hell do you know what kind of guild culture Matticus and his officers have created (or failed to create)?  Do you play with Conquest?  Have you listened in on one of Matt's raids or polled his members for their opinions on his leadership skills (or, as you assume, lack thereof)? 

Maybe you're right, and Matt is a piss-poor guild leader whose members are right to leave (in the middle of the raid week, with no advance notice or even the courtesy of a post mortem tell).  

Or maybe the guy was just a dick.

*   *   *

Last night, I found myself in a similar situation.  The guildmember who threatened to quit two and half weeks ago finally did, and although "L." isn't a dick — he's actually a pretty nice guy — he certainly exhibited some dickish behavior on his way out. 

While the too easy/too hard debate rages on, only the most optimistic of gnomes seems to find the raid-game "just right."  The rest of us have been struggling: either to fill raids as our members become increasingly bored with the same repetitive content, or to break into raiding in the first place when no one bothers with the entry level zones.  On Black Dragonflight, several top level guilds have failed — felled not by hardmodes, but by simple ennui — as have countless start-ups. 

For about a month, Surreality was failing too.  We were consistently canceling two out of three weekly raids, and those members who wanted to progress through hardmode content were thwarted by those who simply didn't care.  

Then, a couple of things happened.

First, I kicked recruitment into overdrive, using the official forums to lure potential raiders cross-server.  (Hi Val.  *wave*)

Second, two major Horde guilds failed, which led to an fortuitous (for us!) influx of new recruits — giving us not only the numbers we needed to start hardmodes in earnest, but creating competition for raid spots that many of our members had come to take for granted (and couldn't always be counted on to fill).  We've seen a considerable step up in interest, attendance and performance as a result.  In the space of two weeks, we went from 23-manning Trial of the Crusader once a week to making significant progress in Trial of the Grand Crusader.  We even broke into the server's Top 10 for the first time in our existence.

For the last two weeks, our members have been interested, engaged and enthused.  Raids are lively again, with everyone from new initiates to seasoned vets offering input and suggestions for strategy tweaks.  Even our 10-mans are back in business, with a first round of Rusted Proto-Drakes hatched and many more to come.  (I'm currently working on an extended Uld 10 schedule that will open up hardmodes to members who haven't had a chance to see them yet — without leaning on those who never want to see them again.  It's even harder than it sounds, but I'm determined to make it work.  Somehow.)

... So why now?  Why wait until everything is going right to /gquit?

I knew from a previous conversation that L. had been offered a trial with a hardcore guild, recently formed from the remnants of several decently progressed — but largely stagnant — raiding guilds.  "SRP" (which stands either for Smoke Ring Productions or Stupid Retarded People, depending upon who you ask) is a typical FotM guild.  You know the type, I'm sure: the fourth or fifth reiteration of an old and somewhat controversial name, recreated by and for players who are united in the pursuit of purples but have no deeper or more lasting ties than that.  I predict that SRP will enjoy a meteoric rise and then implode as soon as the novelty of being the talk of Trade Chat wears off and its members realize they've been guilded together before and actually hate each other.

So, no, it doesn't sound like a great offer to me — but then, I don't raid for epics or even progression.  I raid to play with my friends, so I can't imagine an end-game without Surreality and her odd ensemble cast.  Perhaps this is naive of me, but I truly believe that it's the strength of our community that saw us through the worst of the "summer slump" and ultimately allowed us to rebuild. 

L. obviously doesn't share my opinion, and that's fine.  As Matticus points out, everyone is motivated by different things, and there's nothing inherently wrong with looking for a more compatible experience.  For his part, L. was certain that SRP's offer represented an opportunity: a "new adventure," as he phrased it on our message boards.  

We talked long into the night the first time this came up, discussing the pro's and con's, and L. eventually decided to give Surreality a month long "trial."  "You have one month to recruit more raiders," he concluded at the end of our conversation.  "They'll either convince me to stay, or they'll replace me."

Not surprisingly, my officers were a little (okay, more than a little) annoyed by what they perceived as an ultimatum — especially since it came from someone we had historically found to be a little ... unreliable? 

With all due respect to L., he does have an unfortunate tendency to /afk through raid content — including our entire first Archimonde kill and multiple bosses in Trial of the Crusader (although completely unattended, his pet once managed 700 DPS on its own on 10-man Jaraxxus!) — and often struggles to maintain a consistent Internet connection.  This week, he missed two of our three weekly raids: one because he was late (albeit for perfectly understandable reasons), and one because he disconnected so often that he ended up costing us attempts on the heroic Twin Valks and had to be subbed out.

An unstable Internet connection and flakey attendance aren't ideal for a raider in any guild, but — true to our casual-friendly roots — they are things we're willing to work around.  To a point.  L.'s veteran status (and the fact that I have always believed his heart to be in the right place, even when his head isn't anywhere at all) has been his Get Out Of Jail Free card.  Truth be told, I've taken a bit of flak about it from my officers.  But I still view Surreality as my baby and am determined to preserve our "fun and friendship first; progression second" philosphy towards raiding, even if the gap between first and second has narrowed considerably over the years.

Ironically, the same credo that has kept L. in the guild as a core raider has become his reason for leaving.  "I guess my desire for progression finally outstripped the guild's," he told Keaton last night.  Oh, you mean the desire for progression that leads you to /afk randomly throughout progression raids?  (Which is the main reason you're seldom our first choice for a 10-man, by the way.  >.<) 

I think our melee officer said it best: "Are. you. fucking. kidding. me.?" 

Be more condescending.  Please.

... Yes, I'm a little upset.  Not because he left, per se, but because ever since he recieved the competing offer, his ego has been out of control.  It became increasingly obvious after our talk that he no longer wanted to be a part of Surreality.  Literally overnight, he went from being optimistic and generally constructive in raids to critical and overbearing — harping on other people's failures while largely ignoring his own.  I received so many complaints that I finally resolved to ask him to leave the guild, since it was clear that he resented his choice to stay and was taking the resulting frustration out on us.  I suppose I should be relieved that he spared me that particular confrontation ... but I'm mostly just annoyed.

Sometimes, I wish I had Matt's emotional distance.  Matt writes that he couldn't care less; that he keeps his members at arms' length and considers no one irreplaceable.  Me, I care too much.  I feel personally responsible for everyone's enjoyment of the guild and game; on more than one occasion, I have made myself literally sick stressing over the raid roster or an initiate we had to turn away or a veteran who had somehow fallen behind and needed to be demoted or benched. 

At the end of the day, I want everyone to love Surreality as much as I do, and am genuinely disappointed and even a little hurt when it turns out that they don't.  But this?  This was even worse, because — adding insult to injury — the player who left did so in search of a "hardcore" experience he certainly couldn't deliver in-house.   His condescension was completely unwarranted and — in my estimation, at least — out-of-character (although no one else seems particularly surprised, so maybe that part's just me).

I wish I was a big enough person to wish him well, but I'm not.

7Oct/0911

In which I rant.

This is an actual response from the blogosphere to Bornakk’s announcement that Emblems of Triumph will soon replace Emblems of Conquest as the “base” emblem:

I am annoyed that I’ll once again have to grind heroics come 3.3 for enough Triumph for full Tier 9!

Complaining about grinding heroics for full Tier 9?  Really?

I have three words for you:

BOO.

FREAKING.

HOO.

Seriously.  How much more "accessible" can this game get?  Short of lowering the level cap to 5 and installing an Emblem of Triumph vendor in the Valley of Trials to exchange T10 pieces for twisted boar’s tails, NOT VERY.

Ugh. 

Just ugh.

My alt — who has never set foot in a 25-man raid harder than Naxxramas — is just three Emblems of Triumph shy of 4pt9.  I've missed more heroic dailies than not and attended a few alt runs of ToC 10 ... and by "alt," I mean "tanked, healed and DPS'd by newly ding'd 80's in quest blues and a smattering of the already widely accessible welfare Emblem of Conquest epics." 

Trial of the Crusader isn't hard. 

And T9?  IS ALREADY FREE. 

But, lo!  Soon™, instead of collecting Emblems of Triumph from daily heroics and the occasional ToC loot-go-round, casual players and up-and-coming 80's will be able to farm heroics for full T9.

/golfclap

I know, I know.  Blizzard is striving to make raid content accessible to the majority of the playerbase while throwing the more serious raiders a bone in the form of hard-modes.  (Unfortunately for us, hard-modes are recycled challenges, not new ones, and there are only so many times you can clear Trial of the Crusader in any one of its four incarnations before it starts to feel claustrophobic anyway.)

So, no, I'm not happy about it — but I do understand that it is ultimately a business decision. 

That's fine.  Really.

It's reading this kind of inane QQ that inspires me to /rage. 

... and then the rage subsides, and I'm just sad.  I miss my linear raid progression. :(

 

Edited to add: What he said.

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23Sep/0913

I take it all back.

Hell hath no fury like a pixie scorned...I was 15 minutes late to tonight's raid.  Traffic was a bitch. 

I texted updates to two of my guildmates, so they knew I was coming.  Unfortunately, they couldn't account for our missing Disc Priest, nor could they find a last minute replacement for the Holy Priest whose game card ran out over the weekend.  And when your healing core consists of exactly five healers, two are stranded offline and one is MIA ...  

Well, let's just say we canceled yet another night of 25-man raiding due to poor attendance.  >.< 

Two ToC 10 groups formed, one very obviously the A-Team (and in Trial of the Grand Crusader as I type /sigh), and the other not quite as strong, but certainly capable of clearing the normal modes in an hour or so.  

By the time I finally made it online — and by finally, I mean all of a quarter-hour late — Group 1 was halfway through the instance and Group 2 was waiting patiently for a tank to log on.

Since Keaton was also stranded offline (in the most nonsensical staff meeting I've ever heard described in /guild chat — or anywhere else for that matter; trust me on this one), I volunteered.  I've tanked several full clears, and only one of them didn't go smoothly. 

I don't know what happened.  This wasn't a PuG; this was a full guild run, with the same raiders who one-shot Onyxia last night and went on to clear VoA and ToC 25 in a little less than two hours. 

And yet ...

And yet, these were just some of the that things we suffered through tonight:

  • An undergeared off-tank whose health spiked dangerously low after just one stack of Impale.  (To be fair, it was the alt of one of our core raiders — but an alt who had no business tanking T9 content and was quickly replaced.)  (Paladin threat was nerfed!  I so should not be pulling aggro with auto-attacks!  /flail)
  • A warlock in full T8.5 and a smattering of ilevel 245 epics do exactly 1,900 DPS on Lord Jaraxxus, and then tell me to "take the negativity elsewhere" when I suggested that if he paid attention, he might do more damage than the tanks.
  • A hunter accidentally misdirect to a priest, and then procede to complain about a dearth of heals.
  • A hunter run out of everyone's range while a victim of Incinerate Flesh, and then procede to complain about a dearth of heals.
  • A hunter healed from 10% to full by the tanking prot paladin, right before he complained about a dearth of heals.
  • Exactly zero DPS remember to switch to Jaraxxus's adds. 
  • Exactly zero ranged DPS remember to shoot down permafrost.

Somewhere in the middle of all that ... I lost it.

I am the second-calmest guild leader I know.  (Keaton is the first, if you were wondering.)  I never call people out publicly.  I (almost) never use naughty words.

But after the third or fourth stupid wipe on the Beasts of Northrend — THE BEASTS OF NORTHREND, PEOPLE! — I was absolutely seething.  And after our first disasterous attempt on Lord Jaraxxus, when the raid decimated by two waves of adds that no one even attempted to DPS, I was done.   "Some people obviously don't want to be here," I snapped.  "And I don't particularly feel like wiping all night for them."  

We pulled it together after that.  Even the seriously slacking warlock kicked it up a notch and managed to eke out something like 3,400 DPS — coming in a solid last among the DPS classes, but at least above the tanks.  That's something.

Go figure: the Twins and Anub'arak were one-shots.

So, yeah.  I take back what I said in my last post. 

I'm not that guy.  Compared to some of my guildmembers' performance tonight, I'm fucking awesome.

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16Jul/0911

Divine Hammer of the Righteous Guardian … blah.

After earning all of 2,418 honor on my level 79 paladin "twink," I decided I'd had quite enough of that thankyouverymuch ... and ding'd 80.  Now I'm fulfilling a long-held but (frankly) terrifying goal, and <cringe> learning to tank.

You know, all of those cute, paladin-flavored buzzwords ("holy," "divine," "righteous", "shield," hammer") were, well, cute before I actually needed them to mean something.

Hammer of the Righteous and Shield of Righteousness.  I know one of them does single-target damage (I guess this would translate into "generates single-target threat" in more tanky terms?), and the other is basically a cleave.  I also know — courtesy of my guild's other paladin tank, who follows me around Northrend laughing at my spec, my glyphs and my feeble attempts at maintaining a 969 "rotation" — that I can't just macro my 6 abilities to one key and my 9 abilities to another; I have to actually be smart about them.  So if I'm pulling multiple mobs, I want my cleave to be the first 6 ability I use.

Okay, that makes sense.

... But which of these stupidly named abilities is my cleave?  Ugh.  To my uninitiated (but lovely!; I do play a Blood Elf) ears, they sound exactly the same.

After a quick poke around Maintankadin, I picked up a neat trick, and am now learning to translate everything from Paladin into Warrior so it makes sense again.  Warrior abilities don't have cute, clever little names that follow some kind of bizarre, escaped-from-a-reality-TV-wedding theme.  No, warrior abilities are wonderfully descriptive!  Shield Bash.  Cleave.  Intercept.  Heroic Strike.  You can totally tell — from the name alone! — what the ability actually does.

I should've rolled a warrior.

Of course, then I wouldn't have had this sexy red-headed Tinkerbell look going on.  It's a trade-off.

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30Jun/0912

An open question about PvE to PvP transfers (and a hitherto unpublished rant).

My guild was crit by summer — and a quick glance at the realm forum tells me we aren't alone!  It suddenly seems like everyone is recruiting, and Surreality is no exception.

I bit the bullet over the weekend and posted an abbreviated version of our standard LFM in the Horde recruitment forum.  I've always been leery of cross-server recruitment (a $25 fee + the 30-day cooldown = far too much pressure for me!, especially since I tend to view even a trial /ginvite as two-way commitment), but we've already called one raid at Yogg-Saron due to poor attendance and forgone several hard modes in favor of an "easy" 22 or 23-man kill ... so if I know if I don't fill those open spots with quality players, we'll find ourselves bleeding members soon.

In the hopes of standing out from the crowd, I went with something a little different for the subject line of our cross-server recruitment thread—

Serious Raiding.  Casual Schedule.  Yogg down.

—and it seems to be working!  We've already gotten several promising applications. 

Anyway, a question came up in an e-mail from a potential applicant that I'm not entirely sure how to answer:

I've never played on a PvP server but as I couldn't PvP my way out of a wet paper bag I don't see how that will work.  I'd spend all my time doing corpse runs while I tried to pick flowers I suspect.  I could learn to PvP I suppose, I've just never had the time to learn that aspect of the game.

So, as I said, I'm torn.  Do you know anyone in your Guild who has experience moving from a PvE server to a PvP one?  Would love their thoughts.  Thanks.

We've actually only recruited cross-server once, and it worked out amazingly well (but don't tell him I told you!  It'll go straight to his head, which is already weighed down from his hair care regimen.  Silly Blood Elf.  <3)

Of course, I'll ask E. to chime in with his thoughts, but since he's ridiculously busy with real life and multiple perspectives are always better than one ... I thought I'd just throw this one out to anyone who cares to comment. 

So: if you've transfered from a PvE realm to a PvP realm recently, I'd love to hear about your experience!

*   *  *

Of course, I realize a lot of it depends upon the server.  I went digging through my unpublished drafts and found this old (but still relevant) critique:

One of my guildmembers habitually refers to our server as Black Dragonfail

Now, fail has become something of a dirty word in the WoW community, so I typically only use it to be self-deprecating.  ("Sorry about that wipe, guys.  I'll try to stop failing now.")  But in this case, I agree.  Whole-heartedly. 

I hate my server. 

If you've been following me for any length of time, then you're probably aware of my Carebear-ish tendencies.  I don't particularly enjoy PvP — in the world, or in the arena.  My warlock spent exactly enough time in battlegrounds to earn her Medallion of the Horde, and even then, only because it was required for Mount Hyjal.  Meanwhile, my shaman has never so much as participated in a duel outside of Orgrimmar (although we did manage to kill a rogue once, after he tried to gank us in Icecrown.  I have to admit, that was a /glee-inducing experience!  No matter what class I'm playing at the moment, I have a warlock's instinctive fear of rogues — so killing this one as a resto shaman was as much of a rush as I've ever gotten in PvE.)

All things considered, I'd probably be most at home on a Normal Roleplaying server.  BDF is the exact opposite: a PvP server that is exceptionally hostile to roleplayers.

 ... but that's not the reason I hate it. 

Or, rather, that's not the whole reason.

I hate BDF for its highly competitive PvE culture — which may well have evolved out of its highly competitive PvP culture, but has become an issue in and of itself.

The PvP Influence (?)

One complaint I frequently hear levied against PvE is that it's "scripted." 

To extend the metaphor: think of a PvE server as a theater troupe.  The script doesn't change, but the actors do.  They trade roles around, rehearse each performance and continuously strive to improve their costumes and props.  

In other words, they work together towards a common goal.

It's a cooperative environment.

In contrast, PvP — especially arena-based PvP — is by its very nature competitive.  There's you and your teammates on one side ... and the entire battlegroup on the other. 

PvP also keeps score.  If you wipe on a raid boss, the worst that can happen is a bad repair bill.  But if you lose an arena match, your rating goes down.  Lose enough matches, and you can even fall out of your bracket, placing rated rewards (not to mention titles, mounts and the like) further and further out of reach.

Because backwards progression is possible in PvP, serious PvP'ers tend to be personally invested in their success and less forgiving of mistakes (from themselves and others) than many PvE'ers.  (Notice that I say most, not all.  I don't doubt that hardcore raiding guilds take wipes seriously, especially when they are in competition for server firsts.  But most of us don't fall into this category.)  Rivalries emerge between teams, and falling outs occur within them.

It is, after all, Player versus Player.

Eventually, a culture emerges in which players are accustomed to measuring themselves — including their skill and their worth — according to a tangible ratings system.  There is no corresponding system for PvE; the closest thing that we have is our realm progression thread, which ranks guilds according to the number and recency of their guild-first kills.

If PvE is theater, then PvP is hockey.  It's competitive.  It's combative.  And win or lose, tempers will occasionally flare into violence.

It's just part of the "game."

The Endgame Culture

As you might have surmised from my extended and very scrambled metaphor (I don't have anything against hockey, by the way; I'm just picking on my oh-so Canadian boyfriend because he refuses to answer his phone this morning >.<) BDF's endgame culture is brutal. 

To be fair, the realm's top two raiding guilds are well-respected.  They don't participate in forum drama and I seldom see their members out and about in the world because they literally play to raid — and let's face it, that doesn't take a whole lot of time these days.  

The #3 guild is the opposite.  It's members are braggarts, drama-mongers and unrepentant forum trolls.  I'm not exaggerating: this is the guild I once described as hosting "trade channel PuGs for nothing more than the dubious joy of ninja-looting all of the drops to guildmembers who don’t need them (and, in many cases, can’t equip them) over PuG’s who do ... and then mocking anyone who dares to complain about it in trade chat and on the realm forum."

As as childish and mean-spirited as this is, it pales in comparison to some of the other stunts this guild and its members have pulled — such as driving their own tank off the server and staging an elaborate flame war with themselves (using level 1 alts and fabricated drama to implicate an innocent guild in the process).

Karthis asked in a comment if this kind of thing is typical of PvP servers.  I don't know, as BDF is the only server I've called home for any length of time.  But I do know that this kind of attitude — and the bad behavior it engenders — has trickled down to a number of the less-progressed, but still up-and-coming raiding guilds on the realm. 

Sadly, there are now a half-dozen guilds — most of them Horde-side — that are actively attempting to emulate this behavior.

Of course, I realize that every server has its forum trolls, its trade channel spam, its blatant — and unrepentant — ninjas.  But at the same time, I can't imagine that many other servers have an endgame culture that actually rewards these things, with attention (not all of it negative!) and that sincerest form of flattery: imitation.

As you can imagine, BDF is a very unplesant place to be right now.  I'm relieved that I don't have to attempt to recruit off-server, because I couldn't in good conscience encourage anyone to transfer here.

Now that I've ramped up recruitment to look cross-server, that last line is coming back to haunt me. 

I didn't post this at the time that I wrote it because I found my own logic (especially with regards to a possible PvP influence) suspect.  It was just a rant, really — inspired in no small part by the fact that the realm progression thread was trolled by a level 1 alt who announced that he would be turning off his Of the Nightfall title since it was clear from my guild's success with the encounter that any old "scrub" could get it.

Fortunately, things are starting to turn around on my home server.  The guild I'm describing broke up a few months ago (although its former — and mercifully absent — leader maintains his e-notoriety), as did substantially all of its fanboy clones.  Several new guilds have formed to replace them, and seem to be much friendlier in general.  The server does have other things to recommend it, as well: a stable economy, a competitive endgame (with Yogg-Saron down, as well as Flame Leviathan +4, my guild is still only ranked 6th Horde-side and 14th overall) and a very active PuG community.  (Each faction has at least one regular — and successful — Ulduar 25 PuG with open sign-ups for appropriately geared players)

I can sell someone on BDF.  The question is, do I want to?

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4May/090

Children’s Week, an unexpected source of Chilled Meat, and planning for the future …

Orgrimmar OrphanSpinks is teaching her orphan to be a mighty warrior in a very clever post that — on second glance — actually seems to be evolving.  (I just visited it again to link it, and what started as ten steps has become into fifteen as Spinks' commenters chime in with their own words of wisdom.)

I briefly considered doing something similar for the Orcish brat I seem to have been saddled with, but ... who am I kidding?  The world needs more warlocks like we need more Sons of Hodir dailies — that is, not at all. 

Once upon a time (or, rather, tier), warlocks were an endangered species.  Of course, now that Affliction has been toned down so anyone and their pet shoveltusk can manage the rotation, we seem to be making a comeback.  Ordinarily, I wouldn't mind (I hated seeing spellpower cloth go to waste, or — worse! — to mages), but it's actually gotten into the point that I can't even take aim at a training dummy without some Blood Elf bimbo in a mis-matched Darth Vader suit coming along to ninja my soul shards. 

Have you ever tried to conjure a creature from hell with the kind of dilluted, stale-cookie of a shard you'll proc when multiple locks are siphoning the same soul?  I tried to summon my succubus last week and ended up with a gnome instead.

Unfortunately, I'd already done the cooking daily.

Fortunately, chilled meat still sells well ... so I guess the gnome wasn't a complete loss. 

Still, I'd have preferred Hesva.

So.  Since I don't want the infernal, snot-nosed little ragamuffin to become even more infernal by following in my Xintor's booted footsteps ... what do I do with it? 

Naturally, my first impulse was to dispose of it — discreetly, of course, so as not to upset the Orgrimmar Matrons.  (I don't care, myself, but I have it on excellent authority that their wailing annoys Thrall, and the War Chief isn't someone I'm willing to cross.  Yet.)

... Also, the Troll matron in the Valley of Wisdom totally creeps me out.  I don't know why she insists on looking at me like a toothpick; I still have a bit of flesh left on my bones, thank you very much.

Alas — and I should have remembered this from last year, when I dragged that bug-eyed Blood Elf, Salandria, around Outland — the pests are immune to everything.  Rain of Fire.  Fall damage.  Even Demonic Sacrifice!  You name it, I tried it.  And failed miserably.

Then it occurred to me:

This "frail" little orcling is — what?  Six seasons old?  Seven?

And utterly indestructible!

Given a few years to ripen, and some careful manipulation nurturing from yours truly, well, let's just say a super-orcish thrall could be useful to a woman with my ambitions ...

In the meantime, he can always carry my soul bag.  I suppose.

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27Apr/097

10 Ways Not to Fail as a Female Guild Leader

Did I say 10 ways?  I'm afraid someone else has already cornered that particular market!

I meant one:

  1. Stop thinking of yourself as a female, and start thinking of yourself as a leader. 

Seriously.  If you blame every conflict that you encounter on your gender — if you assume that your guild members are testing you because you're a woman, or attempting to manipulate you (with charm, or simple bullying) because you're representative of the "weaker" sex — then you're ignoring the real issues.  And believe me, there are real issues.  Male leaders experience the exact. same. challenges. that we do!

When our officers talk through the issues afflicting our guild, my gender has never entered into the conversation.  Not once have I said "Soandso is acting out in raids because he thinks I'll let him get away with it, being a girl and all.  Clearly, I need to man up and show him who's boss!" 

No.  Our conversations tend to be more along the lines of "Soandso is acting out in raids because he feels underutilized.  He may be testing us to see what he can get away with — but since we recruit mature, quality people, chances are that it's an unintentional byproduct of his frustration.  Let's address the underlying issue rather than simply resolve to talk over him.  Can we let him coordinate the trash pulls in this part of the instance?  Give him a CC target?  What can we do to make him feel useful, so he will focus more on the task at hand and less on the feathers he can ruffle?"

I strongly believe that allowing gender to enter into the discussion as anything more than a footnote (and who reads those, anyway?¹) does a disservice not only to you, as a female guild leader, but to all who would follow your lead — including those men for whom you assume that your gender is an issue at all.

Are female gamers a statistical minority?  Sure.  But just like not all of us are dancing naked on the Naxxramas summoning stone, whoring ourselves out for attention and epics, not all men are slavering idiots ready willing and eager to lap it up.  I'm sure both exist ... but why waste time and energy anticipating sexism?  Especially if doing so also happens to perpetuate it?

TL;DR: Focus on the real issues.  Your gender shouldn't be one of them.  If it is, then chances are it's because you made it one by blaming everything that could possibly go wrong on your double-X chromosomes.  Or you're playing with idiots, in which case I suggest you make liberal use of the /gkick or /gquit button.  As I wrote in the post that thrust me into the blogosphere in the first place, you control your experience.  It works both ways.

---

¹Except Kestral's, of course. If you skip his footnotes, then you're missing some of the best parts of his posts!

Tagged as: 7 Comments
22Apr/098

Sometimes, I feel sorry for Blizzard …

Six months ago:

Dear Blue,

Congratulations, Blizzard.  You've done what none of your competitors have managed to do, and ruined the endgame with your bull-nosed determination to cater to the casuals.  Where are the rep grinds?  The  long, wonderfully complex and lore-rich attunement chains?  The rare profession drops that made my tradeskill profitable?  Everyone and their pet Sporebat  has the same recipes that I do — not to mention the same recolored gear and the same meaningless achievements.

I am no longer a unique and special snowflake.

No Love,

Your Fans

Last week:

Dear Blue,

Books of Glyph Mastery ...  WTF?!  I've been grinding for eight hours and have yet to see a single one!  Why couldn't you make the new glyphs trainable, so everyone could learn them?  Or even purchasable with tokens, like recipes for Cooking and Jewelcrafting?  I really don't know what you were thinking with this one, Blizzard.  Have you even looked at the Auction House lately?  Those greedy scribes are ruining the economy.  Keep this up, and we're going to need a bail out.

And, seriously.  What is with epic crafting patterns and Fragments of Val'ynar only dropping in 25 raids?  Or this pointless grind you call the "Argent Tournament"?  The endgame has become a timesink.

And you still hate casuals.

No Love,

Your Fans

Tagged as: , 8 Comments
10Mar/0922

I'm becoming an angry healer :(

I came to this realization last night, after snarling through an "alt run" of OS10 (on my main, of course; both healers were on mains, although one was an off-spec retadin). 

The main tank was the warrior alt of our holy-turned-shadow priest.  He is a damned good healer ... and a god-awful tank.  Still, it wasn't his tanking that had me all riled up ("on the warpath," as one slightly wary-of-me hunter put it; they really aren't used to seeing me rage in /guild chat!).  No, it was the fact that the entire group — 100% melee, by the way, and 40% Death Knight — would stand around at half health after each trash pull. 

Not eating. 

Not bandaging. 

Just standing there, waiting none-too-patiently for me to heal them up to full. 

So the healadin and I would look at each other and /sigh, and top them off ... and EVERY SINGLE TIME, without fail, the main tank would charge ahead to the next pull (or drake!) when we were still at half mana from healing the entire 10-man raid while out of combat

You'd think that someone who raided on a healer throughout the entire Burning Crusade and much of the current expansion would know how utterly impolite (and foolish) this is ... but, no.  Even when the paladin and I /afk'd the readycheck before Sartharion (we were healing! and drinking!), the warrior didn't take the hint. 

"Why aren't you ready?  Come on."

...

So I'm becoming an angry healer.  You know, the kind who hates tanks.  And hates DPS.  And writes scathing blogposts to vent her frustrations after "alt runs" she should never have joined in the first place.

Is there a support group for this?

Tagged as: 22 Comments
   
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