Frustrated

I think my 10-man achievement group is done for the tier, if not done, period.  People are starting to lose interest in ToGC 10 … and, really, who can blame them?  We’ve downed Anub’arak with 49 attempts remaining at least three times now, and still have yet to achieve a Tribute to Insanity.  I rather think it’s become a self-fulfilling prophecy at this point: we expect to wipe in the last ten or fifteen percent, and so we do. 

Ten-man attendance has been tapering off for a while now.  Up until two weeks ago — even after we started losing momentum — we still managed to at least show up at raid time … but there were inevitably one or two players who would rather hit Wintergrasp first, or get in some last minute arena games, or run the daily heroic on an alt or three before reluctantly agreeing to join the raid.

Then, two weeks ago, our paladin healer made himself conspicuously absent.  After waiting around for almost an hour in the hopes that he would eventually log on, Annah and I decided to try two-healing.  In spite of some initial trepidation (most of it mine!), it went surprisingly well.  The pressure was definitely on, but far from buckling under it, we rose to the occasion.  It ended up being one of the most exhilarating experiences I’ve had in WoW to date.    

We made it through the first three fights with no deaths at all, only to wipe on heroic Twins due to a premature pull that killed Annah within the first three seconds of the fight.  Keaton pulled a Hero Bear maneuver to get off the battle rezz, but by that point we were simply too far behind to recover. 

We went on to down the Twins fairly easily on our second attempt, and then wiped a dozen times on heroic Anub’arak before we finally found a healing strategy that worked for us.  I should mention that while our group almost always two-heals Anub’arak, it’s with a holy priest and paladin.  (I go enhancement for the fight, to buff our melee-heavy DPS team and do an impressive 3K DPS myself.  /flex)  

I never realized how truly amazing Beacon of Light is on this fight.  Lacking it, I struggled to keep both tanks healed in Phase 3 while Annah focused on the raid.  We eventually decided to rely on passive healing (Judgment of Light, Leader of the Pack and Healing Stream) to keep the raid alive while we shared responsibility for the tanks and anyone afflicted with Penetrating Cold.  Everyone who wasn’t a tank ended the fight with a tiny little sliver of health, but that actually worked for us since it minimized healing on Anub’arak.

At the end of the night, Annah and I resolved to two-heal 10-mans more often.  I consider him one of my best friends, for all that we’ve never actually met, and we seem to complement each other well as healers.  And even when we fail — which, thankfully, isn’t often! — we still have fun. 

Anyway, we know now that we can two-heal ToGC 10 ... but I was still secretly hoping to have a third healer for last night’s run to increase our margin of error on some of the trickier (or RNG prone) fights.  I didn’t want to lose Insanity yet again.  Unfortunately, only seven of us actually showed up; one was MIA, and two others were on Vent but too preoccupied with Modern Warfare 2 to log into WoW for our scheduled raid. 

I was a little frustrated. 

Keaton and Annah want to rebuild the group.  Ignus thinks we should just wait it out; Icecrown Citadel will drop soon, and I’m sure we’ll all go hardcore again (as much as the ridiculous gating scheme will allow). 

Me?  I don’t know how I feel.  On one hand, I was never proud of how “exclusive” our 10-man group felt, so I feel I should welcome the opportunity to include some new players in the achievement runs.  And yet the idea of relearning the instance when we were so. very. close. to mastering it makes me feel very, very tired.  (It doesn’t help that the Crusader’s Coliseum is the ugliest raid zone with the flimsiest excuse for a plot in the entire game, either ...  >.<)

I think I may be just about done with WoW.  It’s been one frustration and disappointment after another for a while now, and I’m not sure the high notes (like two-healing hard-modes with Annah! <3) are enough to make up for it. 

If I could just sit back and enjoy things, maybe I’d feel differently … but as things stand, I’m under almost constant pressure to make WoW be everything for everyone.  One faction is invested in hard-mode progression; another would rather farm lower content or normal modes on alts until Icecrown Citadel is released.  And then there’s the increasingly vocal minority who think that those of us who have Glory of the Ulduar Raider should carry everyone else through Ulduar 10 for their drakes — which I’d actually be open to, if the people clamoring for the opportunity had made any effort at all to learn the content when it was new.  But those who feel the most entitled are inevitably those who haven't, and aren't.

I’m sorry, but if you were more interested in farming level 60 raids for profession patterns when the rest of the guild was running 10-mans for emblems and raid gear, then I really don't care if you have a Rusted Proto-drake or not.  And if you’re new to the guild, then all I promised you was an opportunity to raid current content; a free 310% mount was never part of my recruitment pitch!

I know my disenchantment is ultimately my fault: if the guild’s goals have fallen somehow out of alignment, or if I feel especially burdened by someone else’s enjoyment of the game (or lack thereof), then I have no one but myself to blame.  I'm just tired, and frustrated, and closer than I’ve ever been to simply calling it quits.

Emo guild leader is emo ... 

Meh.