I don’t know why you say goodbye; I say hello.

I haven't been blogging because I've been focusing all of my WoW energy on my guild.

Surreality is in a precarious place right now. We lost a few members to Real Life: finals, family commitments, schedule changes, sports, even wife aggro. We have a healthy Friends & Family rank and are filling enough spots to manage 10/12 and even 11/12 clears each week, but we are still two or three players short of a solid progression team. It's been a few weeks since we made serious attempts on the Lich King ... and since nothing kills a raiding guild faster than not raiding, a small handful of our newer members have left in search of purpler pastures.

Needless to say, this has only compounded the problem.

I honestly don't know if we'll have the numbers to raid this week. If everyone shows up on Tuesday, we'll be fine; if anyone has a conflict, we won't be.

And yet, in spite of the lows, there have been highs, too. Thanks in no small part to the hunter formerly known as Elam, we are running two solid 10-man teams for the first time in our history. Both have cleared Icecrown Citadel several times on normal, and are now pushing hardmodes. (Blood Princes: 18 - Surreality: 0.) We have also picked up several new raiders, including an exceptional — and, by all accounts, sane! — holy paladin, a restoration shaman who blows my HPS out of the water, and a shadow priest who I want to shrink and keep in a jar.

There have been some fantastic late night conversations, too. For the first time since TBC, I find myself running mindless laps around Shattrath (I'm leveling a wee hunter through Outlands) and using WoW as a glorified chat engine: too tired to quest, but far too enthralled by the green text to call it a night.

At this point, we could go either way. We could recruit two or three or four new players to replace those we've lost and return with a vengeance, or we could continue to hemorrhage members until we are no longer able to raid at all. I'm hoping for the former, while quietly preparing myself (emotionally!; I have no intentions of looking outside Surreality for a home!) for the latter.

The late-night crew is full of encouragement. We've been together for almost three years and gotten through low points before, as the same spirit of community and camaraderie that keeps me up far too late at night also keeps us going, in spite of periodic setbacks. We've addressed the few divisive issues, such as our chronic inability to field two 10-man raids, and emerged stronger as a result. And, as Elam points out — with the notable exception of the holy paladin we lost to hockey — everyone we've been forced to replace, we replaced with someone who was either a stronger player or a better fit for our guild or both. "I wouldn't stress too much," he texted me this morning. "There are people who are loyal and people who will switch guilds when it's convenient. We're steadily growing the former."

I hope so. I really, really hope so. There is no game without the guild for me, and there is no guild without the people I've come to consider friends.