Circle of Tanks: Failtank Edition

Dämmerung of Children of Wrath has created a tanking version of Miss Medicina's wildly popular Circle of Healers meme — and, lo and behold, he tagged me! 

I was initially excited by the prospect of laying my healing helm aside for a few minutes and donning my tanking hat (even though I never show it in-game; with hair like mine, would you?), but as I sat down to fill it out, I realized something:

I'm a healer.

(Hi, my name is: Mistress of the Obvious...)

I may moonlight as a petite meatshield in color-coordinated plate, but my true passion is healing — and not with Bacon, either! 

With water balloons. 

And lasers.

Suffice it to say, the tanking version of the survey was a lot harder for me to complete than the healing-themed original.  I really had to think about my answers — and occasionally cheat seek inspiration in my feedreader as I scoured tankadin blogs for insight.

In the end, I decided not to pretend like I knew I was doing and just answer honestly.  Failtank mode, engaged!

* What is the name, class, and spec of your primary tank?
Larissyn is my adorable red-headed pixie of a protection paladin, currently specced 0/53/18. 

* What is your usual tanking environment?
10-man raids and 5-man heroics.  I've MT'd VoA 25 a time or three, but that's the extent of my 25-man tanking experience.  A healer at heart, I just don't have the confidence to tank PuG 25's; I need a little more in-guild experience under my Indestructible Plate Girdle first.  (WTB alt ToC25, PST.)

* What is your favorite encounter to tank, and why?
Off-tank duty on Ignis is a blast!  Surreality favors what we've come to call the "Zaiko Manuever," in honor of the Death Knight tank who didn't realize that he had to kite molten constructs into water.  My job is simply to pick up the constructs as they spawn and hold them — for the entire duration of the fight.  I've had as many as six or seven beating on me at once!  /flex

... I know this is a lame answer.  I'm sorry.  ;.;  Keep in mind that it's coming from someone who raided as a warlock throughout The Burning Crusade and died every time a boss so much blinked in her general direction.  The sheer novelty of surviving has yet to wear off.  D:

* What is your least favorite encounter to tank, and why?
The Beasts of Northrend, because I can never remember which jormunger is Acidmaw and which is Dreadscale.  I've caused more than one wipe on this fight because of my, uh, "selective" memory.  (Sorry Forrest!)  >.< 

... Actually, while writing this, I came up with a pitiful little mnemonic: Dreadscale is the Jormunger I dread tanking (see what I did there?), because the added responsibility of freeing paralyzed raiders whenever I'm afflicted with Burning Bile intimidates me. 

* What do you think is the biggest strength of your class, and why?
I think it was Ghostcrawler who described facing a pladin as a three-phase fight, and it's true (or will be until 3.3).  I absolutely love being the last Elf standing when the fight has gone to hell and everyone around me is asploding in flames — sometimes literally.  Moar wipes?  Yes, please!  

* What do you think is the biggest weakness of your class, and why?
Warriors have intercept.  Druids have feral charge.  Death Knights have GETOVERHERENAO!
Paladins have overly expressive ears that droop when we cry or pout.

/pout

In a 25 man raiding environment, what do you feel is the best tanking assignment for you?
Alas, the only 25-man raid I've tanked is VoA. Failtank is fail.

In 10's, I'm often on off-tank duty — which I actually really enjoy, because off-tanking is often more interesting than main-tanking. I love OTing fights like Lord Jaraxxus, because even though I don't have a super-cool gap closer like SOME CLASSES I COULD MENTION /glare, I'd still rather go Hand of Reckoning!, Avenger's Shield!, Hand of Reckoning! and nom on some fel fire elementals.  It beats standing in one spot and repeatedly shield slamming eredar ankles.

* What tanking class do you enjoy tanking with the most?
Feral druids.  In part because my fiance plays one, and tanking with him is fun (when it isn't incredibly stressful, because he still hasn't learned how to read my mind.  Get on that.  Please.).  But mostly because I know I'll get first dibs on tanking plate.

Tangential aside: Dämmerung thinks that druids make poor tanking companions because the class's iconic abilities (battle rezz and Innervate foremost among them) can't be used in feral forms.  This is true; they can't be.  But the inherent limitation has given rise to a whole new class of druid tank called Hero Bear®.  Hero Bears can drop out of form, cast Rebirth or Innervate and go bear again while main-tanking a raid boss.  It takes precise timing to expend the GCD inside of the boss's swing timer, but it can be done.  I've been on the receiving end of more than one such Innervate or battle rezz.  (Thanks, bear. <3)

What is your worst habit as a tank?
Even with 4pt9, I am far too conservative with my cooldowns — to the point that, in the heat of battle, I occasionally forget I have them until after I accept the out of combat rezz ...

What is your biggest pet peeve in a group environment while tanking?
DPS who refuse to follow kill order and then scream at me when I let a stray mob chew on their face. "Oh, I thought you wanted to tank that one?  Teehee." /bats eyes

* Do you feel your class/spec is balanced with respect to the other tanking classes?
I don't know much about the other tank classes, to be honest.  I can tell you that from a healer's perspective, no tank is easier to heal than a well-geared prot paladin.  My earth shield has solo healed Eanin through many an Oculus run (pre-nerf, no less!).

* What tools do you use to evaluate your own performance as a tank?
This deserves a flow chart.  Amber's collecting submissions, right?

* What do you think is the biggest misconception that people have with your tanking class?
That it's easy to take a beating day in and day out and still look this. good.  Also, what he said.  (Basically, that paladins are no longer the AoE add tanks that they were back in TBC.  No one does AoE snap aggro better than a protection warrior — no matter how much our resident corpse-turned-cow complains about it.)

* What do you think is the toughest thing for new players of your class to learn about tanking?
 How and when to use all of the tools in our arsenal outside of the 969 rotation.  I'm not going to lie: I tank-by-macro, with my 9 abilities keybound to S and my 6 abilities keybound to S.  Tanking looks a lot like this: "SDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSDSD."  I'm still not comfortable using my other skills in a raid environment.  (Case in point: I had to open my spellbook mid-fight when our mage called for Hand of Salvation.  /shameface)

* If someone were to evaluate your tanking ability via tools like fraps, recount, and World of Logs, what tendencies would they notice?
Unfortunate (and embarassing!) periods of downtime, when I'm hopping around like a tree druid and trying to figure out what I do next.  "Oh, oh, my add is dead!  Should I go whack on Big Bad's shins a bit?  Or just stand here and wait for the next Little Bad to spawn?"  *looks around*  "I know!  I'll refresh Judgement of Ligh— ooo, look, my reflection in my sword!  Is that hair out of place?!"

Stamina or Avoidance, and why?
Stamina.

* Which tanking class do you understand the least?
Warriors.  I have a level 80 druid and a level 69 death knight, both of whom have tanked at some point in their (admittedly limited) WoW careers.  But I haven't the slightest clue what warriors do, other than stand around glowering and looking stern (or huggable, in Linedan's case, but I have a thing for Tauren males).

* What addons or macros do you currently use to aid you in tanking?
You mean, besides SDSDSDSDSD ... >.>  Grid, believe it or not.  I use Grid to see who other than me has aggro and clique to cast Righteous Defense.  It really helps with the pick up.  Also, the usuals: Omen, Recount, DBM and PALLYPOWER.  (Dear PuG Pallies without PallyPower, H8.)

* Do you strive for a balance in tanking stats, or do you stack some higher than others, and why?
I stack stamina, first and foremost.  Then avoidance stats, then hit — although I'm sorely lacking in the hit department right now.  I would love to be a serious enough tank to have separate EH and BV sets, but ... alas!  I'm just not that hardcore into plate . (Leather, now...)

Oh, we're done?  Okay, on to the tag: Keaton.  (If you can't remember the password to your blog, at least answer in the comments.  If you love me.  But no pressure!)